If I had a penny for every time I've heard an ADHDer say they wish they could be more motivated.
But here's a fine distinction you will want to hear...
ADHDers Do NOT Have Less Motivation!
Motivation is s the desire to act in service of a goal. You do NOT have any less desire to reach your goals. You have as much aspiration and longing as the next person. What you struggle with is acting on that motivation.
Skill vs Character
Activation, or task initiation is an executive function - one of the skills that ADHDers struggle with. Other executive functions include prioritizing, planning, staying focused, managing impulses and following through. Sound familiar?
When you tell yourself you lack motivation, you are using the outdated moral model of ADHD, in which you see your challenges as character flaws. The current perspective is a medical model, that ADHD is a neurological disorder, meaning it's not that you won't start, it's that you can't.
The latest perspective is the strengths-based model, where ADHD is seen as a divergence - an equal but different way of being in the world. My mission is to help you support your weaknesses just enough to allow your strengths to sparkle.
Whether you see ADHD as a medical condition or a neurodivergent way of being, difficulty getting started is not a character flaw. It just means you may need a few supports to get you going.
How to Get Activated
Here are some examples of supports to get started on something:
Use someone else for accountability.
Reward yourself soon after getting started.
Break it down into tiny steps and focus just on the next one.
Remove Friction
I'm sure you've heard those all before. But here's one that sounds silly, but it can work - Make it as easy as possible. I find it significantly easier to go out for a walk when I have slip-on sports shoes or elastic laces that don't need tying. The old model says I'm so lazy, I can't even tie shoelaces. The medical model says removing friction from getting started on something supports my brain-based difficulty.
Once you realize that your difficulty getting started is not about motivation, that your weakness with activating yourself is not a character flaw, then you are in a place to thrive. Shame is not a good instigator for change. Problem-solving and feeling positive are.
It all starts with acceptance. That's why I give a free masterclass:
