i stopped chasing perfect and here's what happened

Last week I emailed my subscribers about perfectionism. But what I didn't tell you, was that I was writing about myself.

For years, I taught classes with an extra lesson plan in my bag, in case I finished early.

Every workshop I gave came with days of agonizing over the slides, making changes and then changing them back, obsessing over the color scheme and never quite feeling like I would say the right thing.

Every client session was preceded by a full hour of "background reading".

I thought it was "professional" but actually it was exhausting. My life was "full", but it wasn't fulfilling.

I was wasting precious mental energy that I could have used to listen to my teens when they spontaneously wanted to chat at 10pm. Wasted time I could have spent sleeping so I could wake my kids up with a smile in the mornings.

Here's the cruel joke: you're doing all of this "over-ing" to finally feel enough.

But enough is a moving target — and you can never arrive somewhere that won't hold still.

I can't pinpoint exactly when things started shifting. But when I was getting my ADHD coaching certification, I learned about "good enough" by defining and shooting for 80% done. By practicing being imperfect.

I welcomed people into my home with a broken kitchen cabinet door and dust on the piano. And you know what? They still had a great time.

I let my sparkly ADHD kiddo dress herself for shul in the mismatched clothes she chose AND the fairy wings. And even though my kids weren't as "put together" as others', she got to be the most joyful person in the room.

Now I record social media videos with my phone propped inside a running shoe, and I don't retake every word I stumble over. Nobody comments if the lighting is too dark or cares about the typo in the subtitles.

I know you grew up feeling "not enough" but it turns out, "not perfect" and "not enough" are not the same thing.

This is what I learned the hard way, and what I now teach my clients.

Like my client who defined decided her house was "80% ready for Shabbat" with a cleared dining-room table, swept floors, a wiped down kitchen counters, and dirty dishes inside the sink.

Allowing herself to stop at 80% meant welcoming Shabbat sitting peacefully on the couch, rather than collapsing into a heap with nothing left inside.

"Good enough" is not lowering your standards. It's about choosing where your energy goes. Because when you can stop at enough, you start to feel like you are enough. Even on the ordinary Tuesday when the cabinet door is still broken 5 years later.

That's how you build an easier, happier and more fulfilling life with ADHD.

When you're ready to stop holding yourself hostage, book a complimentary Breakthrough Call. We'll figure out together what "enough" actually looks like for your life — and map out your real next steps.