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Writer's pictureAlana Stern

Drop the Mask

Updated: Jun 27, 2023

Pull back the curtain on your ADHD


The Jewish festival of Purim is upon us! If you're a woman with ADHD, I know what you’re feeling. Costumes, mishloach manot, megilah and a festive meal all in one day! That’s a lot of executive functioning for an ADHD brain!


And then if you're a mom, there’s trying to navigate a jam-packed day with ADHD kids who are sensitive to scratchy costumes, changes in routine and day-long sugar highs!


Hey you! I see you. I applaud you. And I know that sometimes you don’t want anyone else to see what it really takes for you to keep it together.


On Purim, Masks and ADHD


Don’t get me wrong. I still hope we all get to experience the real joy that is symbolized by the Purim holiday.


Either way, one of the Purim themes is costumes and masks, symbolizing hiding. It made me think of all the ways that ADHDers, especially women with ADHD, try to cover up their struggles. Ever heard of ADHD Masking?


What is ADHD Masking?


Masking is when we try hide personality traits that cause us shame. And it’s exhausting to spend our days covering up that we don’t actually have it together and fearing that someone might soon expose us as a fraud, like the wizard behind the curtain.


Are You Wearing a Mask?


Do you ever:

  • avoid having company over because of how your house looks?

  • arrive super early to appointments in fear of arriving late?

  • over-commit to community volunteer opportunities to make up for what you perceive of as your faults ?

  • put on a show that you are "fine", when in reality you are struggling to keep up?

  • bend over backwards, trying to pass as normal?


Shedding the Mask


Imagine not suffering in silence and alone, but having a supportive tribe who gets you, who you can be yourself with, warts and all? Imagine being loved for who you are. No mask?



You may not be perfect, but parts of you are amazing. I have decades of experience working with ADHDers, and I’ve come to greatly admire the vast potential of the

ADHD brain.


My job is to help you become more aware of your strengths and to work with you to design a life where you spend more of your time giving the world what you are amazing at, and less energy covering up

where you struggle.


Part of that job is to support and encourage you to drop the mask and embrace your authentic self.



Because we all deserve to be seen, heard and appreciated for who we truly are in the world.



So stay tuned because in the coming months, you'll have the opportunity to belong to a special community for support, accountability and validation. An online space where Jewish women with ADHD get to drop the mask and feel good about themselves. Sound good?

I love hearing from you. Hit reply and tell me where you mask. Even better, share with me where you have already dropped the mask.

Purim sameach!


Are you an ADHDult? And if so, where do you begin?





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