If you are a woman who struggles with disorganization, you
may feel embarrassed or guilty when you do not conform to the gender role expectations that you have absorbed.
In the trail-blazing book, A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD, the authors refer to the term “Brain Shame” to describe the way women with brain
-based differences feel when compared to the way neurotypical women function. Just as w
omen feel deep wounds when they feel they don’t live up to the standard of culturally approve
d bodies, so, too, do women with ADHD feel hurt when they can’t conform to expectations about how to be “good enough” in other ways that highlight their brain-based challenges.”
Perfectly vs Functionally Organized
Women with ADHD often wish they could remember all the things, just do the things, stay focused and organized. Many dream of being clutter-free and able to unexpectedly accept people into their homes or cars without feeling embarrassed by the mess. If you too measure your self-worth with the neurotypical yardstick, then you need to read on...
Here's the Thing:
You don’t have to wait until you are perfectly organized with the mundane tasks of daily living, before you make a positive impact on the world. Whether it be through meaningful work, nourishing relationships or passionate creativity.
Your self worth does not depend on your organizational skills. ADHD is not a character flaw.
Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg was known to be terrible in the kitchen. Imagine what the world would have missed out on if she let her lack of ability in this realm define her! What if she had made herself wait until she was better at cooking before she let herself go to law school or become a judge!
Stop Focusing on Your Weaknesses!
As an ADHD coach who works on building skills with my clients to support their weaknesses, isn't that a little weird for me to suggest?
Not really. I believe that it is the role of ADHD coaching to guide you in designing a life where you support your weaknesses just enough to be functionally organized, not perfectly organized.
And this is not even the end goal. We want functionality so that you can spend most of your time using your strengths, honoring your beliefs and living your core values. That is what thriving with ADHD means.
And it all starts with self acceptance. That's why I'm offering a free masterclass:
Thriving with ADHD - The Prequel
Take the Essential first Step for Feeling Good & Living Well with ADHD.
In one hour, for free, and together, we will...
Discover the single key to an easier, happier life.
Understand the role that ADHD plays in your life.
Shift your mindset so you can take control and thrive with ADHD.
What could you be doing instead of focusing on getting perfectly organized? Comment and let me know.